


An Interview with Chris Shane

by burglebezzlement



Category: Lock In - John Scalzi
Genre: Gen, Haden Monthly, Interview Fic, POV Outsider, Post-Canon, The Agora, Yuletide Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-24 18:42:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17106083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burglebezzlement/pseuds/burglebezzlement
Summary: “Just one spotlight to another”: Haden Monthly correspondent Alex Henry catches up with child celebrity-turned-FBI agent Chris Shane about life, love — and the future of the Agora.





	An Interview with Chris Shane

**Author's Note:**

  * For [luckybarton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckybarton/gifts).



> Happy Yuletide!

_“Just one spotlight to another”: Haden Monthly correspondent **Alex Henry** catches up with child celebrity-turned-FBI agent **Chris Shane** about life, love — and the future of the Agora._

It’s a rainy afternoon in Capitol Hill, the adopted home of Haden Chris Shane.

I’ve arranged to meet Chris at a local dog café. Strange? Maybe — but the former child celebrity, now FBI agent, has a newly-adopted dog, and public space for threep-only gatherings is in short supply in a crowded, historical neighborhood like Capitol Hill. 

We go into the shop to purchase a serving of dog-friendly ice cream for Donut II, an adorable Australian Shepherd with ice-blue eyes that look into my soul, before staking a claim on a table on the sidewalk. Donut II takes shelter under the table from the rain and begins enthusiastically licking his ice cream.

**It’s good to meet you.**

Thanks.

**Your dog is very friendly.**

Donut II is a born food-hound. He knows a soft touch when he sees one.

**How did he get that name?**

We made the mistake of giving my roommates, Justin and Justine, the naming rights.

**Was there a Donut I?**

There is. I can’t provide more information on Donut I without commenting on an ongoing investigation.

**That’s right —you’re with the FBI now. How’s that going?**

It’s been interesting. I work with Agent Leslie Vann in Haden Affairs, so all of our cases involve Hadens in some way — whether that’s Haden victims, Haden perpetrators, scams by non-Haden individuals that target Hadens — we get to meet Hadens in all different walks of life.

**And sometimes you arrest them.**

Yes, sometimes we do.

**I hear you’ve gone through a lot of threeps since joining the Bureau.**

Yes. For the record, almost none of those incidents were entirely my fault.

**Do you have trouble renting threeps now?**

Not from rental agencies. I have insurance. But I do sometimes have trouble getting loaner threeps from FBI field offices.

**Have you considered trying one of the new heavy-duty threeps coming out on the market? I interviewed a storm chaser last week who's been taking one of the test models into the heart of tornadoes. One of those models might have a fighting chance.**

You’d think so, wouldn’t you?

**Sounds like there’s a story there.**

I was recently approached by a manufacturer, who shall remain nameless, to participate in their beta test of a new heavy-duty threep model.

**Did you say yes? How did it go?**

In fairness to their technology, I don’t think there’s a threep on the market that can survive being chucked into an industrial-grade shredder by a suspect. And that's all I can say on the matter because, again, ongoing investigation.

**I’m sure you get asked this a lot, but why the FBI?**

I wanted to do something less in the public eye. [rueful laugh] I wasn’t expecting the kinds of cases we’ve had! In some ways, it’s like I left one spotlight only to stumble into another.

**So why did you agree to an interview?**

[pause] I like your work. I’ve been following you for a few years now.

**Thank you. That’s very flattering.**

[wryly] That’s why I came to you specifically. As for why the press — you’ve been following the ongoing User Board elections for the Agora.

**Closely.**

We — and by we, I mean the current board — are working on outreach. Right now one of the leading candidates is Boaty McBoatface —

**And a boat can’t hold office.**

I wish the candidate in question was the boat. I really do. Boaty McBoatface is the Agora name of a dedicated grief troll from Cleveland, Ohio who’s running on a platform of requiring that all public areas of the Agora run a 24/7 soundtrack of fart noises.

**You’re kidding.**

I wish. But people see “Boaty McBoatface” in the polls and think oh, that’s funny — I’m sorry. I’m digressing. The point is, we want to get the message out there that the user advisory board is going to have a real impact on daily experiences in the Agora. That it’s important to take this seriously. 

There’s been studies — online communities have higher engagement, higher levels of compassion, higher levels of interconnection, when the users themselves are the ones responsible for the community.

We don’t want to see the Agora be commercialized. We don’t want to see the sort of cultural flattening that you used to see when smaller social communities got bought out by big media companies. And at the same time, we want to start growing tomorrow’s community — the people who will look at the Agora as it is today and say “this here is great, but what else can we do.”

**You were part of the reason for bringing the Agora to the Navajo Nation’s server farm.**

I was. They’ve been a great partner, and we hope they will be for many years to come. 

**Do these new proposals include funding by the community?**

The plan is to transition the Agora into a community partnership model. So yes. By Hadens, for Hadens.

**What would you say to people who say the Agora isn’t broken?**

I would agree. But while the Agora isn’t broken, it also isn’t sustainable, long-term, in its current form.

I’m sure you’ve visited people in sponsored neighborhoods. You know the old saying — if you can’t tell what the product is, you’re the product? One of the things we’re hoping is that transitioning the Agora to a user-supported model will help to expand its offerings. Be a space where Hadens can be people, instead of advertising targets. One of the proposals is for each supporting membership to include some of those basic things, like ad-free personal liminal spaces. 

**Rapid question time. Meatspace or Agora?**

Both.

**Your perfect day in each?**

In the Agora, hanging out in my liminal space, maybe with a few good friends. In meatspace, taking Donut II for a long walk and then hanging out at my house with my roommates, or spending time with my parents.

**Those sound a lot alike.**

That’s probably not a coincidence.

**Most compromising position you’ve found a suspect in?**

Again, I cannot comment on ongoing cases.

**Current relationship status?**

[laughs] Alex, you’re better than that.

**I had to try.**

[silence]

**So what’s next for Chris Shane?**

Right this minute? I’m going to take Donut II for a nice, long walk.

_Check out Haden Monthly’s coverage of the Agora User Advisory Board elections, including position statements from all the major candidates. Even Boaty McBoatface._


End file.
